Reprinted from my Brain Frieze blog, just because I thought it was that good.

(Caution. Satire ahead. The products and people in this "interview" are purely drawn from the author's imagination and any resemblance to real Web 2.0 companies is merely accidentally intentional.)

*******************

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Geoffrey Smidgen, CEO of Virtual Absurdities LLC, a company that has just received its first round of venture capital funding for its Web 2.0 startup know as MoLekULr. The service has just completed its initial round of beta testing and will be launching a wide-scale public beta in the near future. Geoffrey and his engineers have devised an entirely unique approach to the concept of social networking that he discusses in this interview

Brainfrieze: Geoffrey, welcome. This is a pretty exciting time for your company isn't it?

Geoffrey Smidgen: Boy it sure is. Lots of late nights and.......................time spent at the computer. But things have really................................come together and I believe we've really nailed the entire................................essence of Web 2.0 with our product.

BF: Right. Tell us a little about the concept behind MoLekULR and what you hope to accomplish with your service.

GS: Well, it's a pretty radical idea, but let's start with the entire definition of.........................what Web 2.0 is really all about. You see, what we've learned over the last 10 or 20 years of social networking, going all the way back to the early..................................message boards and newsgroups is that people really love staying connected to a circle of people electronically. They find others with like interests.................................and then they use their computers to communicate with each other. Some even get a little addicted.......................to staying connected.

BF: Boy, I know what you mean. I've had some serious issues with newsgroup addiction myself. You know you're in too deep when you catch yourself logging in to your favorite group when you're on vacation, just to see what's going on and who's saying what.

GS: Right, and all Web 2.0 does is take that urge..............................that we all feel and makes it even easier to consume and produce and stay in touch. So now you can spend time doing things like................................uploading photos to Flickr, making your own videos for YouTube, share a calendar on Google, and on and on. People.................................love this stuff.

BF: So tell us about MoLekULr. What does it do that's different?

GS: Well, we took that basic concept, and then we saw the explosion....................of even more immediate social tools like Twitter, and we thought, what if we could take that fundamental.......................idea of staying connected all the time to its logical conclusion? What if we could reduce the idea of social networking........................to its most basic components and then connect people in that manner? At a molecular level..............................? Hence the name.

BF: So how does this work?

GS: The first thing we need is information about you. During the registration process we provide a tool..................that will scan your computer, record the IP address, and follow your online activities. This real-time feedback allows us to build a network for you on the fly, so that we know who in our network is pursuing similar activities. But that's just.........................the first layer. We also track all of the applications..........................that you run on your computer. So for instance, we know if you're making lots of videos or listening to lots of music. We want to gain a deep understanding of everything you do on your computer.

BF: Interesting, if you can get people to surrender their privacy that way.

GS: We can reliably prove that you have no................................privacy anyway, so you might as well use it to your advantage. Right?

BF. I suppose so. Then what happens?

GS: Then a few days later a sample kit.................will arrive from our company. Our users will take a small blood...........................sample and return it to us. From that we'll gather even more information about you. Your eating habits, sex and weight, age.......you'd be amazed at what our algorithms can do.............................with that information.

BF: Wow. This is really in-depth. And then I understand that users get some kind of biometric device?

GS: Right. Our MoLekULr Feedback Device is attached to your computer's USB port and from that we can feed....................................you a steady stream of information from your social network. You'll know all sorts of things about the people that you're matched with......................where they are, what they're doing, if they're happy or mad or sad..................all through a series of micro-bursts delivered by our device. When one of those bursts warrants further attention.......................on your part you can immediately bounce over to the full web-enabled version of MoLekULr and send a note to your friend, post to your blog, respond to someone via a comment, upload a video, or crank out a podcast. When you do any of those things...................everyone on your network is immediately notified through a MoLekULr Microburst. Then they can respond......................if they choose to do so. It's a completely closed loop.

BF: Whoa. Well, it seems that someone might be a little distracted in that kind of environment where they're always connected and always consuming information. Do you.....sorry. Geoffrey?

GS: No worries. I was posting something..............what were we saying?

BF: I was saying that it might be hard to concentrate when you're connected all the time.

GS: We actually.........................don't find that to be the case. Sure, there are brief moments when the device is sending you................................................information, but it doesn't get in the way of other..............things you're doing.

BF: I've been noticing a lot of pauses in our conversation. Are you getting microbursts during those times?

GS: Sorry. What were you.........................saying?

BF: The pauses Geoff. You sort of drop away right in the middle of a sentence.

GS: Oh, well, yes, it does take a second to consume the information about everyone in my network................................and then decide how I want to respond. Sorry, pardon me, there's a bit of a dustup in my Second Life chat room. Be right back.

BF: Do you worry that this sort of communication might make people a little too superficial? They won't ever have time to focus on anything but the immediate. How do you promote social networking tools as a way to.....Geoff, are you there?

GS: Wait please........................................wait............

wait...............

wait.............

Uh oh. Sorry, I really have to run now. I've got some serious issues to deal with and only 14 seconds to do so. I better..........................run. It was great talking to you Susan.

BF: Um, I'm not Susan. Geoff? Are you there?

Hey! We have a meme going! Our worst presentation moments.

OK, I have several, including the time I reset the clock on my laptop and lost the trial software I was going to demo, as well as the time the "network guys" decided to unplug the router to the room where I was presenting to over 200 people. Oh those were good alright.

But my first disaster goes back to my college days. I was in ROTC at the time, not because I wanted to be an Army officer necessarily, but mostly to get a little $$$ to help me finish college. So, in one of our courses we were tasked to provide an executive briefing. Hey, no problem. I'm not afraid of public speaking.

In addition to ROTC I was also working in the university cafeteria in the morning, also to help pay my way through school. That tended to leave me ready for a nap after work and classes, and on the day of my first big presentation that's exactly what I did. I had plenty of time before my late afternoon ROTC class. 

Until I overslept.

 Then it was a mad dash to throw on some clothes, jump on my bike, and pedal over to the ROTC building. Whew! Just in time, and with all my notes in hand I took a deep breath, gave my presentation, and was actually quite proud of myself. It's not easy to go from a dead sleep to a 30 minute formal presentation like that, but I thought I did quite well, thank you.

At the end of my presentation the instuctor sat me down and reviewed my performance.

 

"OK, your speaking skills are strong, you did a good job of maintaining eye contact, and your handouts were good. You seemed to understand the topic and your research was solid. I just have one question."

"Uh, what's that?"

"Who dressed you today?"

 "Dressed me? I don't think I understand."

"Well, your shirt is on inside-out. I'm guessing you didn't do that for dramatic effect."

Sure enough, as I looked down at my shirt I could see the pockets hanging out, the seams for my shirt, and well, just about everything you'd expect to see when the wrong side of a shirt is facing out.

Yeah, I survived that one, but I still keep that experience in the back of my mind anytime I go to do a presentation. Handouts? Check! Training materials? Check!

Clothing on correctly?

Check!

There have been lots of great postings here and there surrounding the 10th Anniversay of Flash this past week. If you've missed the many announcements and congratulations, here are a few that I thought particularly interesting:

Adobe kicked things off with a nice article from 10 different designers and developers titled Flash: Ten years, ten perspectives, featuring stories from the likes of Justin Everett-Church, Dan Carr, Stacey Mulcahy and our own Rob Reinhart and Tom Green. It's interesting to see how different people became interested in Flash and where the application has taken their careers.

In addition to that article, Adobe also hosted a very interesting Breeze Presentation with Kevin Lynch, Mike Downey,  Mike Chambers, and Eric Wittman talking about the early days of Flash and how the product developed from its humble beginnings as a drawing and animation tool into the application we know today. My favorite part of that presentation was the photograph of the shrink-wrapped box that was released as Flash 1 where the only change was the slapping-on of a sticker over the FutureSplash name. That and the little hole where it looks like someone started to remove the cellophane but thought better of it.

Adobe also sponsored a big bash at their offices in San Francisco and Mike Chambers has posted a video of the celebration, including the opening remarks from Kevin Lynch and a funny (of course) Strongbad homage to Flash. This one is a little shaky as you'd expect, having been shot with a run-of-the-mill video camera, but still fun. Here's hoping the original Strongbad movie finds its way on-line somewhere.

So, happy birthday Flash! If you want some perspective on where the application started and where it may be going, as well as the people behind the program, and those who've been infuential in its development, those three resources are a great place to start.

For Immediate Release

Yahoo! a global Internet communications, commerce and media company, today announced it has acquired Community MX, the world's leading online journal for web development information, tutorials, and news revolving around the Adobe Engagement Platform. The merger was announced at the winter meeting of the Community MX partners in St. Tropez, France.

"We're extremely excited about the partnership between Yahoo! and  Community MX", stated Mr. Ron Feeblebrewster, Vice President for Shoveling Cash at Internet 2.0 Companies. "We feel this will be a dynamic opportunity for Community MX to become part of the wider global audience and expand their offerings outside the English-speaking world."

Ray West, titular head of Community MX, provided additional information on the merger. "Well, this wasn't an easy decision by any stretch. We're doing pretty well at Community MX, but the opportunity to take the cash and run ultimately overcame our initial reluctance. So, basically, we did it for the money."

Details on the exact price that Yahoo! paid to acquire Community MX were not immediately available, but a company spokesperson described it as "obscene".

Yahoo! announced several important changes that will take place immediately at Community MX:

• Community MX will now simulataneously publish in the English, Farsi, Portugese, Russian, French, and Flemish languages.  
• All Community MX assets will be consolidated into a new high-speed data center: The Ernest T. Bass Chicken Ranch and Internet Hub in Pascagoula, Mississippi.
• Community MX operations will be consolidated into a new building to be constructed near the Yahoo! headquarters in Sunnyvale, California. "Something close, but not too close, if you know what I mean." was the direction provided by Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel when asked exactly where the sprawling enterprise might be located.
• Laurie Casolino, Operations Manager for Community MX was appointed to a new position at Yahoo!: Chief of Kicking Butts and Taking Names. Casolino's first action was to fire the manager of the corporate cafeteria for negligence when she found that decaffeinated coffee was being served.
  

Yahoo stock (YHOO), which had been trading at an average of $32.00 per share, immediately plunged to a historical low and was de-listed on the New York Stock Exchange.

 

Starting this week we're opening the doors here at Community MX and making all 1,415 of our articles and tutorials free for an entire week. Whew! That would take some serious reading time to work through all of those. Maybe we can get a little help from those of you out there who have been regularly subscribers to Community MX in the past and would like to point to your faves.

Me? Well, I would like to recommend the fabulous series of articles from Zoe Gillenwater which really reads more like an eBook than just a series of articles. In A CSS Web Design Case Study: Constructing a Personal Site Zoe begins with a simple premise--reconstructing a web site from scratch. Throughout the 6 part series she takes you through the planning process, the construction of site compositions in Fireworks, how to slice out images for use in a CSS-based design, and brings the whole thing back together in Dreamweaver where she completes the design using web standards. It is the most comprehensive look at a site design using Fireworks and Dreamweaver I've ever seen outside something you'd find at the bookstore.

Now what about you? Do you have a favorite article or series of articles you'd like to share with those who might be dropping by CMX for the first time?

With all the news of mergers and acquisitions going around, one constant seems to be how much all our Macromedia gear may be worth on eBay some day. I thought it might be fun to take an inventory on what everyone else has out there. Admittedly I have a fair amount from attending conferences, my time as a member of Team Macromedia, working with the Macromedia Education Leaders group, and other stuff that I'm not allowed to talk about, but I'm sure there are plenty of other folks who proudly wear the "M" log, and will miss it when (and if) it goes away.

To that end let's pass the baton.

Total Macromedia Shwag in your possession:

10 t-shirts (My brother once asked me if I owned any shirts that didn't have the Macromedia logo on them.)
2 ball caps
1 backpack
1 lap blanket
1 CD car visor holder
1 CD case
2 Flash drives
1 fleece jacket
4 polo style shirts
1 long sleeve Team Macromedia shirt
Various and sundry pens, notebooks, and doodads

Oldest Macromedia shwag in your possession:

A white t-shirt with the two-color MM logo circa version 4 of Dreamweaver/Fireworks/Flash. It's been relegated to the lawn mowing t-shirt pile, but I haven't brought myself to part with it yet.

Last Macromedia shwag you received:

Macromedia ball cap

Most Unusual Shwag:

The lap blanket is pretty unique. I think it goes to big shots who visit the MM mothership for sales meetings. At least that's how I got mine. :-)

Shwag you wear/use most often:

The Macromedia backpack. I use it everyday carrying stuff back and forth to work and for whatever laptop I'm using at the moment.

5 Favorite Macromedia schwag items: 

Fleece jacket. I don't get to wear it that often, but it sure is comfy when things cool down.

The original "</hassle>" Contribute shirt. I have four of those, and they're in constant rotation.

The backpack of course. It's just the right size to hold the common things I carry around--iPod, magazines, Tums, Advil, notebook and other odds and ends I don't want to be without.

Team Macromedia long-sleeve cotton shirt. Great fishing shirt. Really. Nice and cool.

Ball caps. Keeps that patch of bareness on the back of my head covered in the sun and looks cool to boot.

 5 people I'm passing the baton to:

Oh let's see. Might as well stick to the Community MX gang to start with. How about:

Stephanie Sullivan

Tom Green

Jim Babbage

Tom Muck

and one ringer:

John Dowdell 

There you go folks. I doubt that this will get the traction that the musical baton got a little while ago, but it might be fun.

Microsoft today announced their new vector based drawing and painting application, code named Acrylic. Redmond describes Acrylic as "an innovative illustration, painting and graphics tool that provides exciting creative capabilities for designers working in print, web, video, and interactive media."

I've had a quick run through with Acrylic this afternoon and like much of what I see. There might be a pretty steep learning curve for what is in essence a painting application, but I do like some of the effects the program is able to achieve and the tools methodology. This is a beta, so there are bound to be changes coming to the user interface, which I find to be both sparse and overcrowded at the same time. A preference to turn labels on for tools would be a good start since the tool icons in use are meaningless to me as a new user. Still, as with any graphics application it's what you're able to create that really matters, and what I've seen of Acrylic so far looks very very nice.

Acrylic is built on top of the Creature House Expression software program that Microsoft bought a few years ago, but clearly they have set their sights much higher than what was possible in Expression, ostensibly aiming at the professional market owned by Freehand and Illustrator and Corel's painting software. (Umm, you might want to not capitalize the word Freehand in your menu choices there folks. I have a feeling that there's a trademark violation in there somewhere.)

(Portions originally posted at BrainFrieze.net.)

Update: More information at c|Net: Microsoft offers beta of Adobe rival.

In preparation for the installation of Breeze at our school district I've prepared a 12 minute video with an overview of how a PowerPoint presentation is converted into a Breezo. (Macromedia-speak for Breeze presentations. Get it?)

How to Publish Online Content Right from PowerPoint gives you a quick run-through of Breeze 5 and the off-line method for creating presentations. Since the presentation itself was created in Breeze you can also see the new Breeze 5 interface.

Breeze tends to be seen as a meeting and collaboration tool by many people, but the plug-in that is installed into PowerPoint for recording and converting presentations to the Breeze format is pretty slick. In fact, the PowerPoint plug-in is a more mature technology than Breeze Live and it just has the feeling of a well engineered product. For content area experts and teachers and students and anyone else who wants to present training on line, Breeze Presentation is by far the easiest tool to use that I've seen.

(Thanks to the good folks who run the Macromedia Education Leaders program for providing a Breeze account to experiment with.)

Very exciting news for me personally and for the school district where I work this week. Our purchase of a license for Breeze Live and Breeze training was approved by our Board. Over the coming weeks and months I'll be heavily involved in administering accounts and training users in this great tool.

As in any large organizations shepherding the purchase through the required permissions and multitude of questions took a great deal of time and energy on my part, but it was a worthwhile endeavor for the simple fact that Breeze just works. Along the way various groups tossed out ideas for competing products and services, with the usual question being "Have you looked at this?" And yes, I did look at a number of video conferencing solutions.

I won't get into all the details here, but there are any number of companies offering services similar to what Breeze does, but there were compelling reasons to stick with the Breeze purchase. Not least of these was cost. One popular service would have cost $129,000.00 more each year than our entire purchase of Breeze for a comparable number of users and meetings.

The second reason for choosing Breeze was the impact on our network's bandwidth. With 60,000 plus computers in our school district, bandwidth is a major concern, and even though some products can deliver higher quality video and additional features, none of those solutions were able to do so without bringing our network to its knees. Not to mention the minimal impact Breeze has on the server we purchased for running the program. In a test that we did last week the server never went over 10% of its processor capacity, even with 8 simultaneous video and audio streams running.

Finally, Breeze uses the Flash player, a proven technology that, well, just works. No expensive switches to purchase and configure. No additional plug-ins for viewers to install. And once again, it just works. And that's a huge advantage over some of the other products that I've seen out there.

Macromedia released version 5.0 of Breeze and Breeze Live today, with some nifty new features being announced. The only problem? Actually finding a complete list of everything new. (Look for a full review of the new version later this week at Community MX.)

After a bit of digging I was finally able to come up with a Flash Paper document that details all the new features, of which there are many. It appears that much of what has been done is targeted at the corporate world, including better participant tracking, integration with LDAP to make the creation of accounts much easier, and some new pricing options to allow for larger meetings with more participants. I'm not surprized at these changes based on how Breeze is currently being used and who is using it.

You can see a full recap of all the new features at the Breeze 5 Product Overview. (Flash Paper format.)

Well. We certainly expended an awful lot of energy yesterday around the news that Adobe and Macromedia will merge into a single digi-opoly in the coming months didn't we? As the dust begins to settle on this development we who are fans of Macromedia have much to ponder yet.

In my initial reaction to the news (well, I'd rather not print my initial reaction) I talked a bit about how losing the Macromedia identity was going to be the hardest thing to swallow. It still feels that way now.

Like most of the partners here at Community MX I've devoted a lot of energy as a fan of Macromedia. Even though I had to back off my Team Macromedia commitment to do more volunteer work with the education side of Macromedia (and see my family from time to time), the time I spent in the incredible Dreamweaver and Fireworks newsgroups--with all of the smart, funny, creative people who hang out there was really valuable to me. Not just from a technical sense, but also because of the friendships I developed there over time. Thankfully many of those friends work with me here at Community MX, so giving up my newsgroup habit didn't completely cut me off.

So I know that those groups are burning up with speculation, anger, fear, and many other emotions even as I type this. (I'm purposely staying away from those groups lest I get swallowed into that morass.) And I wonder how those communities will weather the coming change. Specifically, will Adobe Dreamweaver still engender the same loyalty and incredible fan support that Macromedia Dreamweaver does? Will the culture of helpful enthusiasts, and the open door policy that Macromedia has had with its fans, continue in the future? Will the loss of a brand name make a difference in how the community views itself? What will the employees of the newly organized Adobe do to engender open communication and community building? I hope they learn from Macromedia and embrace the culture that allows newsgroups and blogs and UGs and conferences like TODcon to survive. Then again, maybe Adobe already does that. But the tough sell will be keeping fans together after their favorite team has changed names, locations, and direction.

My partners and I here at Community MX are feeling the same things that everyone else is feeling, and while I don't have time to check I'm sure they've been vocal in the Macromedia groups that they frequent. In our private group the talk has been positive and while sad, as upbeat as we can be. Of course, we look at things from a business as well as a personal viewpoint, but I think I'm safe in saying that as this unfolds there will be new opportunites for Community MX as a business enterprise. Luckily our services can turn on a dime, and our partners have lots of experience in a business where people routinely use both Adobe and Macromedia products. That puts us in the unique position of being able to help our subscribers see how the coming integration will affect them, examine new tools as they are launched, and be here when our subscribers have questions. It will be an exciting time and I believe we're ready for the challenge. And while we move forward we'll continue to write and teach about all things web and Macromedia related.

Here's hoping that all of the other Macromedia communities and groups maintain their identities as well.

I recently completed a little design work for someone who was happy to see their site get fixed, but apparently less eager to pay me for my work. What a drag.

Now, I do design work like this almost as much for what it teaches me as for the money. After all, I have a full-time job already, but my modest web development "company" does take on design work. I usually get into these things when someone learns that I teach web design. "Really? I need some design work done. Would you be interested?" If the project looks interesting, and won't take too much time, I do dive in from time to time.

Recently I was presented with a site redesign job by a friend through one of those tangled relationships that are hard to understand. "Yeah, my brother-in laws sister's neighbor needs a site done. Can you do it? They're eager to get this done and are ready to pay."

Oh, OK. Doesn't look too hard, there's a little PHP work involved (and Lord knows I can always use practice in that) so I took on the job. A quick discussion through the friend (not with the actual client--which should have been my first warning sign) and a few hours of work and the job was done. Contract?

Friend: "Really, this is a steady guy. He'll pay what you quoted no problem. Or I'll pay you. Whatever."

Warning sign #2. Which I ignored right along with #1.

A few hours of work later the job was complete.

ME: "All set and live on the Web. Let me get you an invoice."

Friend: "Oh of course, no problem. I'll have a check by the end of the week."

And now more than a month has passed. A smattering of promises have been made by the friend, but nothing of late. No, it's not a lot of money, and no one is going to starve at my house if I don't get paid, but it has become this nagging annoyance. If nothing else, I don't need the hassle of "reminding" my "friend" that I should be paid. I do the work, you get an invoice, I get my money. Simple, right?

The lesson is simple. Never work without a contract. Ever. Negotiate your fees up front and be clear on the terms, no matter who it is. If the invoice is to be paid net 10 days of the site going live then be clear on that. And it doesn't matter who it is. Your Mom, second grade teacher, pastor--whoever. Get........a..........contract.

And it really comes down to being seen as a professional more than the possible legal actions that you might take against someone who doesn't pay. If it appears to your friend that you're doing work as a "favor" then you'll be treated like someone who helped them move some furniture. Sure, you have a truck and you'll help them out, but the understanding in that relationship is that you'll repay the favor some day, but not with real money. If you work without a contract you're buddy, neighbor, or whoever is going to see you as a hobbyist, instead of someone who has paid good money for software and spent a lot of time developing you skills.

Unless they're a total moocher, they'll understand your professional attitude and that you do this for a living, not for pure fun. And if they are a moocher you'll be better off if they balk at your prices or when and how you expect to be paid. In those cases it's better to preserve the realtionship and turn down the work.

Last night I posted a little verbal ditty at my BrainFrieze blog about the connection between standardized testing and kids coming out of school unprepared for high-tech jobs. The connection might be a little convoluted for non-educators, but my premise is this. The more we focus on standardized testing and the crieria that are used to judge the effectiveness of schools, the less time we have to spend on courses that promote the higher-order thinking skills that kids need in high-tech jobs. Our curriculum and schedule and spending is all aligned here in Florida to producing good test results. If that hasn't happened in you state, it's just a matter of time until it does.

From a practial standpoint this means the loss of lots of elective classes. In cases where things like band and art and web and graphic design are still being offered either the classes are huge or the kids who want to take the classes are being turned away. If you can't quantify the results a course achieves through testing, then it's going to be tough to get it funded in the current climate.

There are far-reaching implications to the loss of these classes, and I hope folks in the industry will focus on what's going on in education here in the US. If those "soft" courses--ones where their results can't be easily quantified--are not kept in the mix of courses we offer kids, we lose an important element of their total education.

Music is a great example of the connection between an elective class and high-tech skills. Do a little poll where you work. How many of your programmers are also musicians? How many of them had their first chance to play an instrument in a public school? I think you'll find the numbers to be significant. I know here at Community MX the programmers among us almost to a man and woman play some sort of musical instrument. There is an incredibly strong connection in the part of the brain that allows a person to understand how to play a complicated set of chords and also do multiple joins in several relational databases. Or appreciate the elegance of good scripting.

Developing that part of the brain starts early, and it needs to be supported while young. Public schools have traditionally done the most to support that kind of learning and development, but with the current emphasis on testing over teaching, we're facing huge losses of teachers and classes in the arts. Fewer kids will be helped to discover their potential, and less of them will be prepared for the type of work that they might be asked to do.

It will take a little higher-order thinking on the part of people in the industry, government, and education if we're to stop this trend before more damage is done. There has to be a better mixture of accountability and teaching and higher-order learning in our schools if the US is to maintain a competitive workforce. Yes, keeping arts in education is that important.

It seems like I've been in a ton of meetings lately--some related to the day job, and others that cover some of my outside interests. Nothing unusual about any of that, but what I have been paying attention to is the dynamics of these meetings where what people say is vastly different from what I know they're thinking. Here are some examples:

What they say: That's a very interesting observation.
What they mean: Is this twit paying attention to any of this?

What they say: Yes, we've discussed that issue on our team.
What they mean: God, please don't bring that up. Do you know how many hours we've already devoted to that kind of trivia? I've got to shut this guy up or we'll be mired in minutia for the next hour.

What they say: That's an excellent question.
What they mean: Has this idiot been listening at all? For God's sake! We just now covered that. There's goes another 10 minutes of my life that I won't be able to get back. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

What they say: We'll have to review that internally and come back with some answers to that question.
What they mean: Nooooooo! It's all laid out in the documents. Any 3rd grader would understand what we're talking about here. I'm not reviewing anything. Why did I say that? Oh yeah, to get him to SHUT UP!

What they say: We've had a great deal of internal debate over that issue.
What they mean: Please don't get started on that topic. Otherwise Jeffrey over there is going to go off on one of his usual side trips to hell. Thank God there are no weapons allowed here at work, otherwise one of these weenies would die. I wonder how I'd look being hauled from the building in handcuffs? Is this the right outfit for going to jail? Wonder what they're serving for dinner in Cellblock C tonight? OK, OK, stay focused. God here comes another idiotic question.

What they say: I believe we discussed this just a few minutes ago, but let's review so everyone is clear on the issues.
What they mean: Would it be manslaughter or murder if I jump from my chair, sit on his chest, and strangle him with that awful tie he's wearing today? It would have to be manslaughter right? I'm not doing anything premeditated. Not planning to watch him die a horrible death. It would be different if I sprinkled arsenic in that ugly-ass coffee mug of his one morning and then danced in my cubicle while he choked and gagged, knowing that the paramedics will never get here in time. Hahahahahahahaha! God that would be sweet!

What they say: We feel strongly about the recommendations we've made here today.
What they mean: If this isn't a slam dunk I don't know what is. Please, please, please, can we just make a decision already? This could go on for months at this rate. Why do these people come to these meetings anyway? We've got to stop serving danish at these things. YOU sure don't need to eat anymore Mr. Lardass. Hey, maybe the cholesterol will get this guy and I won't have to do a thing. Here you go Mr. Lardass, have one of these cream-filled donuts. Hee hee! Note to self: Stop at Krispy Kreme before the next team meeting.

What they say: Thanks so much for attending. You've provided valuable feedback.
What they mean: What were those lines in that Monty Python skit? Oh yeah, thanks for coming, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert. You're such a valuable member of the team, Mr. Snotty-faced Heap of Parrot Droppings. We're not nearly as impressed with you as you are with yourself, but golly it's been good to see you. Now if you'd kindly rot in hell while I go about the business of undoing all the damage you've caused my project in the last hour, it would be much appreciated. Thanks oh so much. Really.

Last night was week 8 of the Fireworks course I teach at our local community college, and as usual the subject was automated and workflow features found in Fireworks. As I like to tell my students, I think of Fireworks not as a graphics editor, but more a graphics production tool. The ability to get great looking images put together in a production environment is part and parcel of what makes Fireworks such a top notch application.

As we explored different ways of cutting down on the time required to get those images together we explored Fireworks Styles, and after showing them how to make their own we went on a little web expedition to find free Styles that they could download. I want to mention two here that are far and away some of the best.

First stop is Richard (aka RichieB.) Blenkinsopp's site, where you can find some really tasty Styles in flavors from candy-coated to metallic. Richie has added a bunch of new ones since the last time I dropped in, and they look awesome. You also might want to check out his Fireworks sample files for some great designs that are available in their original PNG format.

Our second stop was Macromedia's DevNet Center where we took a look at Linda Rathgeber's sample files and Styles. Good to see that this has been moved to the front page of DevNet to make it easier to find. Is there anyone who's done more to promote the creative uses of Fireworks than Linda? I don't think so. Her offerings here are a testament to her talent as well as a great resource for those of you who want to see how things are done in Fireworks.

Thanks Richie! Thanks Linda! Great stuff all the way around.

The cost of ethics: Influence peddling in the blogosphere: J.D. Lasica takes a long and detailed look at the matter of getting paid for blogging at the Online Journalism Review.

There are some excellent points made throughout the article, and much of what he has to say rings true with me. As an interested observer of the rise of blogs and their influece in certain groups, I'm waiting to see how the business model of blogging will unfold. Will people be able to make money from writing blogs? Should they? Or will blogs, as I believe, be more important as a peripheral   device? A means to promote news, products, and even a sense of community among users of products. A way to put a human face on a corporation that allows its customers to feel better connected to a product that they are interested in.

The article is heavily linked, and in addition to the author's main points I found two articles cited to be of particular interest. Jonathan Dube's Blogger Code of Ethics at Cyberjournalist.net leads off an excellent discussion on the topic with lots of well-taken comments posted by readers. Rebecca Blood posts an excerpt from her book, "The Weblog Handbook" in an article title Weblog Ethics at her Rebecca's Pocket blog. Both of these are worthy of a read if you're thinking on how blogs may influence some of the business decisions you make as a web developer, and more importantly, what may be considered proper--and improper-- conduct for people writing in this emerging field.

Uh-oh. Another major disturbance in the blogoshpere this week. This time the political bloggers of the world are all a twitter over the resignation of Eason Jordan at CNN.

Who cares? And maybe more importantly, does it matter in the least? I'm sure it matters to Mr. Jordan, and to the White House staffer who lost his job, and maybe even to Dan Rather, but for the average person of the world it matters not a whit.

I don't read politcal blogs for the same reason I don't listen to talk radio or watch Fox News. Too many self-important people blathering on about themselves and how important they are. "Have you heard/seen/read what I had to say about this topic? I was right. You were wrong. Blather, blather, blather." It's tiresome and boring after a while, and it may well be that this type of self-congraulatory attitude will lead to the ultimate demise of the politi-bloggers of the world.

Right now it's news because the people who write the news are paying attention, but for the average person in the world this blogging "phenomenom" means absolutley zero. Being a Famous Blogger is roughly akin to being a Famous Philatelist. Sure, it's a big deal in your own small circle, and blogs allow people to widen that circle in new ways, but the impact on the larger population of people is minimal.

Test this for yourself. Ask someone who is fairly web-literate if they read blogs regularly. (Sorry, you're reading this so you're automatically disqualified.) I did this last week in the course I teach at the community college to folks who are, or want to be, web designers. They looked at me like there was broccoli growing out of my ears. "Blogs? Whazzat?" Blogs are not on their radar, nor do they take the time to investigate how they could be useful or even entertaining. I get the same reaction at work from the highly techie people that I work with.

To me blogging is about finding information that I find useful and working on my own writing skills. My most frequent blogging is done at my BrainFrieze blog as a hobby. I do it because I enjoy writing and reading what other people have to say. Sure, it's a kick when someone in South Korea picks up on something that you write and comments on it in their blog, but I write for myself first and foremost. Doing it in public just makes it a little more rewarding.

So, my advice to the bloggers out there waiting to write the next big story or move the world. Get over yourselves. Enjoy and use blogs for what they are--a great way to stay tuned in to topics of interest to you and to have a chuckle now and then. But remember that the percentage of the population that is paying attention to you is pretty miniscule and is likely to remain so for the near future.

Why Usability Folks Don’t Focus on Visuals in Design: Very interesting article from Joshua Porter on the confusing disconnect that seems to take place between usability "experts" and design types. Can a visually stimulating design be highly usable? Can a site that's easy to navigate be interesting and strikingly original? How about both? Josh does a nice job expolring the gray areas between the black and white world of either/or.

An interesting end--or perhaps re-purposing--of my favorite blog tracking service is making the rounds with the news that AskJeeves has apparently purchased Bloglines. The link cited here has the longest story that I've found so far, but there are others reporting the same news, with the general take that it's probably a good thing for all concerned. I like Bloglines since I move between multiple computers in the course of the day and I can usually count on an accurate listing of new posts that I subscribe to.

Why would a search site buy out a blog aggregator? Simple economies of scale apparently. This gives AskJeeves access to the huge repository of categorized blog entries that Bloglines has been tracking for the last few years. And for loyal Bloglines users like myself, perhaps a fresh infusion of cash will help smooth out the growing pains that the company has been suffering from of late.

If you share my love of language you may already know about the Language Log blog where cunning linguists discuss the English language and all its wild and wacky usages. Really. And besides, any serious linguist who is also a Dave Barry fan can't be all that dull, right?

Today as I was scanning the blog a story caught my educator's eye, a study done in the UK that maintains that teaching grammar is a waste of time. OK, that looks like a yawner, but reading down further I was amused by something that the blogger mentions.  How certain phrases get butchered in common usage and become something much more funny that the writer or speaker intended. Chris Lieberman coined the phrase "eggcorns" in honor of a woman who wrote eggcorns when she meant to say acorns.

Still yawning? OK, stay with me here. The fun part of this comes when you turn to Google and look for examples of the mis-statements and mis-spokements as they're archived on-line. In today's example the author referred to teaching (and learning) grammar as being "dull as dishwater" (given) and then searched for that phrase on Google with some eggcorns in mind, for dull as dirtwater. Some other more entertaining examples can be found at this post from last year where common eggcorns are sought out. It's amazing how many examples of this type of thing can be found archived and squirreled away. "Star craving mad", "deep seeded ignorance", and of course, everyone's favorite "self-defecating sense of humor".

OK, OK, maybe there are only 342 people in the entire world that enjoy these, but count me among the chosen few. It might have all started when I had a student who claimed that she couldn't find many good references on-line for Martin Luther King while doing a research project. Turns out that when I checked her search terms she was actually looking for Martian Luther King--you know, the famous inter-planetary civil rights leader. Google lists 15,200 hits for that phrase, including, at number two, free essays that students can help themselves to on-line.